Gratitude

Today I am grateful for…

…finally getting the migraine under control.

…coconut milk soup.

…genuine concern from friends.

…cooler temperatures.

…a full night’s sleep.

Good night!! : )

My Favorite Emmy Dresses

There were a lot of hits and misses on the 2010 Emmy red carpet this year, but the dresses that stood out for me the most were very simple and elegant. They looked as if they can be worn by just about anybody and they were extremely flattering on the beautiful ladies that wore them.

Photo Courtesy of Zimbio

Claire Danes’ dress was the first one on the red carpet that stood out for me. Maybe it is because I am like a raven, and I like shiny things, or because it just looked like the perfect “dress up” dress that any girl would love to wear. Whatever the case, this Swarovski covered Armani Prive dress drew me in like a magnet. The line of this dress is very simple and flattering and the bling offers just enough jewelry, nothing else required. I do believe the bustline of the dress would have to be altered slightly to accommodate a more full figured lady. But that would be a small fix that could give this dress a much more universal appeal. In all, I think this was a great choice.

Another favorite was the dress Amber Riley from Glee chose. She made two great decisions, she chose a dress that accentuated her coca-cola bottle figure and a bright enough color that offered the perfect contrast to her rich skin tone. Ms. Riley showed us that curvy girls can be sexy and elegant too. As if we didn’t know. She definitely hit this one out of the park.

Photo Courtesy of Manolo for the Big Girl

Photo: Just Jared

Of course my pick of the night was worn by none other than one of my favorite celebs, Ms. Kimmy K. This stunning Grecian inspired Marchesa gown sent Kim Kardashian’s style cred straight into the stratosphere. And the most awesome aspect of this dress is the wearability. The silhouette is very forgiving, making it just as appropriate for someone curvy, tall, petite or pencil thin. I will definitely be considering something like this for my next formal event.

Five Mistakes Women Make When it Comes to the First Date

Letting Him Pick You Up
Always meet a guy for a first date. The number one reason. It makes you mysterious. Even if it is someone you know well, you have now established intrigue with this person. How so, you ask? A lot of first dates end the moment the guy pulls up to the door. He already knows too much about you. This could backfire in two ways. First he sees something he doesn’t like and he can’t get past it. Or, he ends up really liking you, but you don’t feel the same and now you have a stalker. Another advantage to meeting him for a date versus having him pick you up is at the end of the date. Once you leave the date, he has no idea where you are going. You may be going home and you may not. Again, establishing mystery. If the date is going well, he will most surely find a way to ask you what are you going to do after. Don’t give a specific location. Just say that you’re tired, or if it is early, say, “oh it’s so early, I hadn’t really thought about it.” Now you’re mysterious and he thinks that you have a life and aren’t just sitting around looking for a man. An added bonus to meeting for the first date, if the date isn’t going well, you can take yourself home and you don’t have to worry about that awkward drive back to your place.

Dominating the Conversation
Just don’t do it. On a first date, you want to practice the communication model. He talks, you listen, give visual cues that you’re interested, answer back. Or you talk, he listens and hopefully does the same. Keep in mind, if he dominates the conversation, it’s a huge red flag. If you do hit if off, you’ll be listening to him for the rest of your relationship, you may not want to sign on for that. If you don’t hit it off, it is probably because he is a narcissist and you dodged a big bullet.

Giving Out Too Much Information
This is really, truly common sense. There is being upfront, and then there is just TMI, too much information. He doesn’t need to know how many people you slept with last Summer, or that your uncle murdered someone, or even that you stripped to pay for college. It is a first date. Let him get to know who you are today, and you get to know him. If it is a match, the really personal stuff will come at the appropriate time. The first date is honestly more about how you feel around each other, the chemistry, the vibes you get from each other. Not the time to tell a guy every one of your deep, dark secrets.

Staying Overnight at His Place
Notice I didn’t say sleeping with him on the first date. I don’t normally recommend it, but in talking to some guys I have learned that it is not necessarily a deal breaker. In fact, some men feel that if things are spontaneously moving in that direction, then not doing it could be a turn off. I am honestly not sure about this one, so I will say that if you do decide to get busy on the first date, be aware of the situation, what you as an adult can handle emotionally, and be safe. However, I do know that once the deed is done, you should never, ever, be there in the morning when he gets up. Why? Because to a guy, sex is one thing, but waking up with a woman in his bed feels too much like commitment. Not that you shouldn’t want that, but guys move a lot slower in that area than we women do. By leaving before morning, preferably sneaking out while he is still sleeping, establishes your independence and let’s him know without a doubt that you are not trying to be Wifey after one date. In addition, it can be a little weird snuggling with someone you just really met the next day, especially if alcohol was involved. There is also a bonus to leaving before he wakes up, he will most certainly call to ask where you went if things were great, saving you the trouble of being the first to call him.

Falling In Love
At this stage of the game to a man, love equals crazy. Ladies, you have had one date, you are just getting to know each other. Okay, we can’t necessarily help it when we fall in love. But we can still be level headed and smart about it. If you start acting like a lovestruck teenager after the first date, you can guarantee that even if this is a great guy, he won’t end up being your great guy. Think about the things we do when we are in love. We call all of the time, we buy gifts, we give pet names, we want to hug and smooch and be in each other’s space all of the time. We cling and we act reckless. You may know without a doubt that he is the one, but he may not be on the same page. Now, you’re all giddy and in love and you start doing things that are way out of character and before you know it, the guy is down at the police station filing a restraining order against you. Keep your soft, mushy, loving feelings under wraps until you know the feeling is mutual.

First dates can be fun and they can be disasters. You can make a love connection or you can find yourself running for cover. The important thing to remember when establishing something new with a guy is learning how to navigate the situation using self control and that brain God gave you. Be smart about red flags, don’t be desperate and most important, remember to take it slow. What’s the rush? If it’s right, you’ll have a lifetime. : )

Gratitude

California Pizza Kitchens's Warm Butter Cake

I am grateful for…

…the time that I am getting to spend with my lovely daughter before she goes off into the world and becomes an adult.

…the technology that allows me to speak and see my hubby from the other side of the world.

…California Pizza Kitchen’s Warm Butter Cake. Yum!!

…the love that I feel all around me.

…my life. : )

What’s New At Crate

When I am not being an aspiring Reluctant Socialite, Artist, and Renaissance Woman, I work part time for Crate and Barrel, which means that most of my paycheck is spent before I even have a chance to work and I usually have lots of interesting stories about my experiences. But since this post is about what’s new in our store, I will save the stories for another time.

As Summer makes its farewell, we have been in the process of changing out our merchandise for Fall and there are some really neat items that some of you may be interested in checking out.
If you’re looking to add a bit of bright color to a room without overdoing it or looking to change out an existing color scheme, one of our Hoopla Lamps, priced at $79.95 might be a perfect place to start. These glass lamps with white cotton shade come in three colors, Amber, Teal, and Purple. Definitely a fun and interesting addition to any decor.

If you’re looking to spend a little bit more money and you’re also looking for something unique. The Marsden Leather Chair in Celadon could be just the piece to spice up your room.I actually own this chair in Mountain Spring, a deeper, blue/green leather and I absolutely love it. This chair is a throwback to the 50′s, with elegant lines, a deceptively wide seat, and the versatility to fit in any room in the house. And although this particular chair starts at $1099, beginning September 3rd, there will be a Fall Upholstery Sale. Crate and Barrel will be offering 15% off of select Stock and Stock Plus upholstery and 25% off of of custom options. This is definitely an investment piece that could be a part of your furniture collection for many years to come.

If you’re not looking to spend a whloe lot of money, but need some practical options for the kitchen. The multi-purpose Parker Bowl Set is a great choice. The set includes five stacking bowls in cool Fall colors, great to use for mixing, preparation, and serving. An awesome addition to your kitchen or gift at $36.95.
And finally if you are just looking for something that is useful and a little fun. The Corn Stripper with Holder is a neat little gadget that can make eating corn on the cob a lot easier. At $12.95, this is a handy little gadget that any cook would appreciate. I am a firm believer that most cooks are only as good as the tools they use.

So hopefully you will make a visit to your local Crate and Barrel and check out these items and many other cool items that I didn’t mention here. I am sure you won’t be disappointed.

And since I have a little time, I will leave you with this:

Customer: Hi, I am going to need water goblets, juice glasses, and wine glasses.

Sales Associate: Okay Sir…will you be needing red or white wine glasses?

Customer: Oh, they are going to have to be clear.

Hope you stop by and see us. Take care and have a Crate day!!!

Technicolor Flowers

I bought these technicolor flowers and put them in my living room the other day. They are really a departure from my usual plain white Calla or Stargazer Lilies, definitely more elegant and sophisticated choices, but not necessarily more fun. These particular flowers were most certainly dyed; the evidence of which appeared the next day when the water in the vase turned a very soft shade of fuchsia.

They remind me of something out of a cartoon or one of those colorized black and white movies. You know the ones where the color is way too vibrant to actually be realistic?

I would probably not buy these to present to anyone who didn’t know me very well, or send them along with my condolences for a funeral. But I have to say that when I saw them in my local grocery store, I decided that they had to come home with me for no other reason than when I look at them, they make me happy. When you think about it, nothing else should really matter.

Sometimes it’s okay to treat ourselves to something ridiculously decadent, over the top, or just plain frivolous. Sometimes it is okay to do something simply because, when we do, it makes us smile. : )

Fabulously Famous by Forty

Okay, so I turn 40 in just around 6 months. I wonder if a person can become famous in that amount of time. What would I be famous for? I paint, that could be it. I was an aspiring actress for years until reality set in. Maybe there is still hope for me. And then there are all of my other talents, carrying a tune, interior design, solving everybody’s problems. Or maybe I can follow in the footsteps of one of my favorite celebrities Kim K and be famous for simply being beautiful. Now that could happen…well…ok…at least a girl could dream, right?

Score One for Customer Service Professionals Everywhere

Photo Courtesy of The Huffington Post

As someone who works in customer service, I am just loving former JetBlue Flight Attendant Steven Slater for saying and doing what every customer service professional wants to say or do when they encounter an extremely rude customer. Truly one can only bite his tongue and grin and bare it for so long. Anyone who works with the public knows that most companies will not tolerate rudeness toward a customer no matter what the circumstances, so pretty much, the commitment to stand up for oneself, right or wrong, often comes with the additional task of finding a new job.

Having had a customer tell me to follow her around the store and make a list of all of the things that she wanted. And another one complain to my manager because I would not leave the store and go out to the parking garage to get merchandise that she was returning out of her car, I can truly understand how one can get fed up.

Hats off to you Steven! Thanks for standing up for what’s right, even if it was in an unconventional way. I hope that you will find lots of success in whatever you do next.
For a full article and video, visit theHuffington Post

Good Food

Did I mention I like food…a lot?

Gordon Biersch Chicken and Shrimp Potstickers

Cali Girl in the DMV One Year Later

And so we start this story in medias res. I have been living in the Northern Virginia area for one year now and in this time, my husband has gone to Afghanistan, come back for two weeks and went back again. In the first month that I was here someone decided to smear food all over my (then new car) and leave a gash in the trunk, which I have chosen to leave there to keep me humble. And then two months ago, while my husband’s base was being attacked, I hit a wall in the parking garage and scraped the side of my car. A total of $6000 including rental car. It took almost a month and a half for the car to be fixed. I have watched my brand new luxury apartment building turn into a frat house with some of the most ridiculous people I have ever seen who feel that it is beneath them to clean up after their pets and who will not speak in the elevator or in passing no matter how many times they have seen you. And I formed what I know will be a lasting relationship with a very beautiful person who I bonded with during her 13 hour labor.

When my lovely husband of 20 years left for Afghanistan, he told me that I had a year to find myself. Meaning that since this is a potential place for us to settle down after many years of traveling with the Army and since I am soon to be an empty nester, I should begin to figure out what I wanted to do professionally. Well everyone who knows me knows that I am an Onibella of all trades, best described as a younger, darker, Martha Stewart. Or at least that is what I aspire to be…in my own mind. However, the closest I have come to finding “me” has been a job at Crate and Barrel. This job was supposed to be a part time thing that I did until I figured out what I REALLY wanted to do, but it turned into me being a miserable full time department manager after five months and back to part time three months later. Now granted, the choice to work at Crate was not necessarily a bad one or without merit.

After all, it is the one stop shop for everything chic and domestically frivolous. I mean, who doesn’t need a Crumb Catcher, or an Olive Pitter, or a Strawberry Huller (a contraption that removes the skin from strawberries, but looks like a tiny medieval torture device.)

Strawberry Huller or Medieval Torture Device

Working at Crate definitely sparked my creativity. While ringing up customers, I could fantasize about how I would use the wonderful glass for awesome, elaborate candy and dessert displays at parties and weddings. Or the amazing meals I would cook on television with all of the tools and gadgets, or the homes I would design with the cool furniture and accessories. But aside from dreaming, what have I really been doing? What am I supposed to be doing? Who the hell am I, and what is my life going to be here in the DC area?

After much deliberation, and joking over too much tequila with some people I work with, it was decided that what I really am is a Socialite. Ugh!! It even feels weird to type it. Coming off the buzz of tequila, I told my husband the colossal joke when he called me from the other side of the world. He failed to see the humor.

“You are a socialite!” he said without a hint of laughter in his voice. “It’s what you have always been.”

I felt insulted and yet a wave of truth washed over me.

Pretty much, I have been a socialite my whole life, first as a Preacher’s daughter growing up in L.A., which can be a very tight knit social circle with certain expectations. And then in my military circle as an Army Wife for 20 years. Not a socialite like Paris Hilton, or a Real Housewife of Wherever (although I am actually a real housewife). But a military wife who had a real budget and who had a social circle of other army wives who mostly volunteer, lunch, and shop because there is no work at most postings and who dream about who they are going to be once their men are done saving the world and they can settle down somewhere.

I mean, when I think of the term socialite, I think social climber, gold digger, annoying woman who treats everyone around her like “the help” as if she is entitled, whether she actually has the funds to do so or not. I see those people at Crate all the time. I could never be any of these things. I am too lazy and lack the motivation to climb any social ladder. I am too nice to people, even if I don’t want to be, after all, I work part time in retail. And if I were a gold digger, I certainly wouldn’t be married to the Army. Right?

So how do I turn that lovely social experience into work once hubby is retired and I am here in the DMV sans my forced social circle of other Army Wives? What is a socialite without a social circle? How does one make a living, make money, being a damned Socialite? Why would anyone want to? What the hell does any of it mean anyway?

My Dude and I on the way to the India.Arie listening party.

Do I plan on doing something great with my life? Absolutely! Like any Army Wife will tell you, we bloom where we are planted. I like thinking of myself as Oni of all trades, the Black Martha Stewart, a renaissance woman. And if we must, after much thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be thought of as the Reluctant Socialite. Stranger things have happened.